10 Things Your Estate Planning Attorney Needs to Know—but You Might Not Think to Tell Them
The family circumstances, assets, concerns, and goals that can make a difference when creating or updating your estate plan.
Your estate planning attorney can prepare your documents. But they cannot plan for what they do not know.
Some of the most important information you can share with your estate planning attorney has nothing to do with the size of your estate.
It may be a complicated family relationship. A child you have concerns about. A beneficiary designation you have not reviewed in years. Property you own in another state. An estate plan you created many years ago. Or concerns about how your family would manage the cost of long-term care.
These details can have a significant impact on your estate plan.
If you are meeting with an estate planning attorney, you may be wondering what information you need to provide or what questions you should be prepared to answer. You do not need to walk into your attorney's office knowing exactly which documents you need or having every decision made.
You should bring copies of your existing estate planning documents, a general list of your assets and how they are owned, current beneficiary information if available, and any questions or concerns you want to discuss. But you do not need to have everything perfectly organized before your meeting.
What you should be prepared to do is have an honest conversation about your family, your assets, your concerns, and what you want your estate plan to accomplish.
Here are 10 things your estate planning attorney wishes you would tell them.
1. “My family situation is more complicated than it looks.”
Families do not always fit neatly into an estate planning questionnaire.
Perhaps you are remarried and have children from a previous marriage. Maybe you have stepchildren you helped raise for years. Perhaps you are estranged from one of your children. Or maybe one of your children has circumstances that require additional planning.
Whatever the situation, tell your attorney.
Family relationships can affect how your estate plan should be structured. For example, someone in a blended family may want to provide for a surviving spouse while also ensuring that children from a previous relationship ultimately receive an inheritance.
Your attorney is not there to judge your family relationships. They need to understand the dynamics within your family so they can help you create a plan that reflects your circumstances and goals.
Learn more about estate planning for blended families and stepchildren: https://www.provident.law/post/estate-planning-for-blended-families-protecting-everyone-you-love.
2. “I do not want my children to inherit everything equally.”
Many parents assume that treating their children fairly means leaving each child the same amount.
But equal and fair are not always the same thing.
Perhaps one child has significant financial resources while another needs more assistance. Maybe one child has provided years of caregiving. Or perhaps you have already helped one child purchase a home or pay for college.
If you have a reason for wanting to divide your estate unequally, tell your attorney.
If you are concerned that unequal inheritances could create conflict among your children, that is important information to share as well.
You do not have to divide your estate equally among your children. Your estate plan can reflect the different circumstances, needs, and relationships within your family. Your attorney can help you understand your options and the potential consequences of the choices you make.
Do not leave your attorney guessing about what “fair” means to you.
3. “There is someone I do not want making decisions for me.”
Estate planning is not only about what happens after you die. It also involves planning for the possibility that you may one day be unable to make financial or healthcare decisions for yourself. Your estate plan may include documents such as a durable power of attorney and an advance directive for healthcare.
Do not automatically choose the person you think you are supposed to choose.
Perhaps your oldest child lives across the country. Maybe a sibling is better equipped to handle your finances. Maybe you trust one child to make healthcare decisions but another to handle financial matters.
Or perhaps there is someone you specifically do not want involved.
Tell your attorney.
The details of these documents matter. Alabama and Florida law require certain authority to be specifically granted in a power of attorney. For example, both states have provisions addressing specific authority involving matters such as changing beneficiary designations and rights of survivorship. See Ala. Code § 26-1A-201 and Fla. Stat. § 709.2202.
Choosing an agent is not simply a matter of providing a name. Your attorney needs to understand what you want that person to be able to do and what authority you are comfortable giving them.
4. “I assumed you already knew that.”
You may consider certain things obvious because your family has always understood them.
“Of course my daughter will take care of Mom.”
“Of course my son gets the house.”
“Of course my spouse can access everything.”
But what seems obvious to your family may not be legally obvious.
Estate planning documents operate according to their language and the law—not according to what everyone assumes you intended.
That is why you should tell your attorney about the things you consider “obvious.”
Who should receive the family home? Who should care for your pets? Who should make healthcare decisions? Who should manage money for your children?
If something matters to you, make sure your attorney knows about it.
5. “I have an estate plan already—but it is old.”
You do not necessarily need a new estate plan every few years.
But your estate plan should be reviewed when your circumstances change.
Bring your existing documents to your attorney for review.
An older estate plan may still be valid. But an equally important question is whether it continues to accomplish what you want.
The question is not simply:
“Is my old estate plan still valid?”
It is:
“Does my estate plan still do what I want it to do?”
6. “There are assets you have not asked me about.”
Your attorney needs to know more than the approximate value of your estate.
They also need to understand what you own and how you own it.
That may include:
Your home and other real estate
Bank and investment accounts
Retirement accounts
Life insurance
Business interests
Digital assets
Property in another state
Jointly owned property
Accounts with beneficiary designations
Why does ownership matter?
Because different assets can pass to different people in different ways.
A will generally does not control how every asset you own passes at your death.
Some assets may pass through beneficiary designations, joint ownership, or other arrangements.
Your estate plan should coordinate your will, beneficiary designations, and joint ownership arrangements so that all of your assets will pass according to your wishes.
Learn more about coordinating your beneficiary designations with your estate plan: https://www.provident.law/post/do-your-beneficiary-designations-match-your-will-or-trust.
7. “I have a beneficiary designation I have not looked at in years.”
Beneficiary designations are one of the easiest parts of an estate plan to overlook.
Maybe you named a beneficiary on a retirement account or life insurance policy
years ago. Perhaps you made the designation before you were married or had children. Maybe you named a former spouse. Or perhaps the person you named has passed away.
Tell your attorney.
If an asset passes directly to a beneficiary designation, your will or trust generally will not control who receives that asset.
Your attorney can help identify beneficiary designations that should be reviewed, although changes will need to be made with your financial institution or insurance company.
One outdated beneficiary designation can undermine an otherwise carefully prepared estate plan.
8. “There is something about my family I have not told anyone else.”
This may be one of the most difficult conversations to have—and one of the most important.
Perhaps you are concerned about a beneficiary's ability to manage money.
Maybe there are concerns involving financial problems, creditors, divorce, family conflict, or substance abuse. Or perhaps someone in your family receives government benefits.
You do not need to be embarrassed.
Your attorney needs to understand circumstances that could affect your estate plan so you can discuss appropriate planning options.
For example, certain situations may call for additional consideration when leaving an inheritance to someone who receives government benefits or when you have concerns about how a beneficiary may manage an inheritance.
If a family circumstance concerns you enough to think about it while planning your estate, it is worth discussing it with your attorney.
9. “I am worried about what happens if I need long-term care.”
Estate planning is not only about what happens when you die.
For many families, another important concern is what happens if a parent or spouse eventually needs nursing home or other long-term care.
If protecting your assets from potential long-term care costs is one of your goals, tell your attorney.
Medicaid planning involves specialized rules concerning assets, income, transfers, trusts, timing, and eligibility. For example, federal Medicaid rules can impose a penalty when assets are transferred for less than fair market value during the five-year period before an application for certain long-term services and support. The appropriate planning strategy depends on your circumstances and, importantly, how far in advance planning begins.
That does not mean everyone needs an irrevocable trust or a Medicaid-planning strategy.
It means your attorney needs to know that long-term care planning is one of your concerns so you can discuss whether it should be incorporated into your overall estate plan.
Because Medicaid rules are highly technical and can vary by state, the right approach depends on your circumstances and where you live.
Do not wait until a loved one is already entering a nursing home to start asking questions. Some planning options are more effective when considered before a crisis occurs.
Learn more about Medicaid planning and protecting assets from potential nursing home costs: https://www.provident.law/post/alabama-medicaid-asset-protection-trusts-how-to-protect-assets-before-long-term-care-is-needed.
10. “There are things I own that are worth more emotionally than financially.”
Not everything important has a dollar sign attached to it.
Maybe it is your grandmother's jewelry, your father's watch, family photographs, a collection, or a piece of furniture that has been passed down through generations.
These items may not have significant financial value, but they can be extremely meaningful to the people who receive them. They can also become a source of disagreement after someone passes away.
Tell your attorney about the personal belongings that matter to you.
Depending on your circumstances and your estate plan, you may have options for documenting your wishes about particular items or discussing them with your family ahead of time.
Do not assume your family will automatically know who you wanted to receive something.
One More Thing Your Estate Planning Attorney Really Wants to Know
There is one question that should be at the center of every estate planning conversation:
“What do you want this plan to accomplish?”
Do not simply say:
“I need a will.”
Tell your attorney why.
Maybe you want to protect your spouse, provide for your children, protect an inheritance for a child who is not good with money, keep a family business in the family, minimize complications for your loved ones, plan for potential long-term care costs, or make sure someone you trust can make decisions for you if you become incapacitated.
Whatever your goal, tell your attorney.
The Best Estate Plan Starts With an Honest Conversation
Your estate planning attorney does not expect you to have a perfect family, know every legal term, or anticipate every possible problem.
That is what the planning process is for.
But your attorney can only plan for what you tell them.
Talk about the child you are concerned about. Mention the account you forgot about. Bring up the family heirloom that means everything to you. Tell your attorney about your concerns regarding long-term care.
And most importantly, explain what you want your estate plan to accomplish.
The documents are important. But they are only the tools. Your goals, your family, and your wishes are what make the estate plan yours.
Your Next Step
At Provident Law, we help individuals and families throughout Alabama and Florida create estate plans that reflect their unique circumstances, relationships, and goals.
If your estate plan has not been reviewed recently—or if your family, finances, or goals have changed—consider scheduling a conversation with an estate planning attorney about whether your plan still reflects your wishes.
Good estate planning starts with a conversation.
About the Author
Colin McMichen is an experienced attorney and the founder of Provident Law / Estate Planning LLC, a Birmingham, Alabama-based firm. With a focus on estate planning and probate law, Colin is dedicated to helping individuals and families navigate complex legal matters with confidence.
Disclaimer
This article is intended to provide general information and help you think through important estate planning decisions. It is not legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship. Because every situation is different, we encourage you to consult with an experienced estate planning attorney to discuss your specific goals and needs.
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